Yay, I think I've been stood up.

Well, the girl I was going to go out with this Friday has gone incommunicado today. I hope she's alright but I suspect I'm just being ignored.For the record the score is:Women: 9 Josh: 0Bleh,Josh "I guess I'll have more time to write longer entries" Weinstein

Tired.

Work is more boring than molasses and twice and long and painful. Nothing quite like standing on your feet for 9 hours to show you the lovely loveliness of chairs. I've also been spending a whole lot of time with Greg and Nate. I don't know how it happened but I've managed to find two partners in crime in what I considered the deadest end state in the union. It seems like all I ever do is bitch in life. Things aren't half as bad as they seem at any one moment and every time I get a "wow life is great" thought I never seem to be at the computer. I'm going to keep chugging though, maybe I can continue to improve on this whole "journal" thing.Josh "Stop signing like this? NEVER!" Weinstein

Jury duty? Hooray! No wait..

DAMNIT. Just what I always wanted. No recompense for being the court's bitch while I could be working, studying, or going to school. This along with the 250 dollar speeding ticket are making me not want to live in this bloody state. I'll have to postpone it because it's right on finals week/when I'm going to Georgia and.. BLEH,Josh "Incoherant Writing" Weinstein

Jury duty? Hooray! No wait..

DAMNIT. Just what I always wanted. No recompense for being the court's bitch while I could be working, studying, or going to school. This along with the 250 dollar speeding ticket are making me not want to live in this bloody state. I'll have to postpone it because it's right on finals week/when I'm going to Georgia and.. BLEH,Josh "Incoherant Writing" Weinstein

Long time no write.

I've been working non stop since I got this job at circuit city. My legs are killing me and it's only going to get worse.I also got a 250 dollar speeding ticket that I neither deserved nor am I going to pay (I'm going to contest the living hell out of this thing). I'll probably be spending weekends at Greg's and working full time for a while. I'm sick and tired of encountering people who think I'm worth talking to when drunk but can't be bothered to hang out afterwards. The girl I met at the party never returned my calls so I'm erasing her number(no big loss mind you but returning a phonecall is hard?). Honestly girls, if you're not interested just say so. I don't care if I'm told flat out how unattractive/boring/stupid I am but, damnit, don't sting me along on some sort of fucking power trip. I've had it up to here with your entire sex as anything more than friends and I don't think I'm going to bother anymore.Regards,Josh "I swear it'd be easier to be gay" Weinstein.

Ma I'm not wearing any clothing!

Had a good time at the party and am about to go drop off some job applications. Wish me luck!Regards,Josh "My Signature is longer than my post" Weinstein

It's nice to be loved/missed.

Job situation still way up in the air. I've been pounding the pavement and getting applications in we'll see what draws what. Tomorrow I'm going to go out to lunch with dad, do shabbos with Greg, then keg it up with Greg, Julie, and Nate. Should be a good time and I'm more than willing to do some partying with three of my four good friends in the Storrs area (speaking of which where's Marc been lately?).On the very plus side I talked to two of the most wonderful gals I know (and that says something considering the girls I know). Reen is dealing with drama but she's keeping it together. She says she misses and thinks of me and, oddly, I believe her. It's weird how you develop bonds with strangers then bam you're important enough to be seriously missed. It's also comforting to know that a girl as together and fantastic as Crystal "just adores" me and thinks I'm just as wonderful as I think her. If she weren't on the opposite side of the country I'd be a much happier person on a daily basis.I miss Rick, Marc, Lucas, Lucia, Kiera, Jackie, Littlefoot, and the rest. Maybe I should let them know that they're important because some of them sure as hell need to hear it from time to time.Regards,Josh "What the morning brings" Weinstein

Goodbye Connecticut?

Well my hospital job fell through. I don't know if I can stay here this summer as I need to find a full time job that pays at least 10 an hour. I know there's something down in VA for me so I may be going there. This sucks a lot as it kills a lot of my plans but what else can I do? I'll look around but I suspect that all the jobs are taken already.Josh "=(" Weinstein

NYC was fantastic!

Man, what a great time! (Following paragraphs contain little to no editing so take their English with a grain of salt)Friday:I missed Shabbat with Greg and Julie unfortunately (I wasn't sure of the ride situation with Nate) but I got some books and enjoyed my first 10 hour reading session in a LONG time. Talked with dad a bit about nonsense (which is pretty usual) and found out that my stepfather was in the hospital. Apparently he had a bone lodged in his small intestine and needed surgery (he's ok). I'm not sure if my motorcycle will be done on time this summer especially since he's working so hard now that my mother is preparing for her board certification exams. I guess it's time to buy a CT-allowable car on my own.Saturday: Woke up around noon to a phone call from Nate, apparently he wasn't coming down for quite some time so I tuck in and get some breakfast (or was it lunch?) and read some more while waiting for his phone call. Whilst sitting on the couch I received about 6 different calls from as many people. Which leaves me to wonder; when did I get so popular? I've not had this many people actually wanting to talk and hang out with me since California. I must say it's a nice feeling. I really hope things continue on this path, if they do I may stay in New England.So, Nate gives me the call that he's in West Hartford and I meet up with him and his friends in the car. This is where I meet Ron and Aviva who are two of the coolest random people I've ever met. Not going to go too much into it but I hope they regard me well considering how much I like both of them. After some introductions we drive down to NYC and ended up waiting in Spanish Harlem (YU) for a dude who never shows, apparently their friend is a huge flake so we just shoot the shit in the street while eating sunflower seeds and watching Hispanic dudes popping wheelies on motorcycles.After 3 hours of that we head downtown to meet with more friends (Ari who's freaking cool and Akiba who may or may not be). Get some Grey Goose and start celebrating Nate's 21st birthday. After a good buzz we hit some club that I can't remember the name of and drink and dance with random Rutgers chicks until 4 am where we go back to the apartment and drunken drama ensued. I'm not going to go into it but suffice it to say that I was uninvolved and half of us slept there while the other half met up with the dude who flaked earlier and slept there.Sunday:Get up around noon and take a cab over to where Nate and Aviva (who aren't talking to each other) are staying. After some quick cleaning up Nate and Ron treat me to my first Schwarma (which was fantastic) and we went to meet the Hillel people at the Israel day parade. After some parking mishaps we split up leaving Nate and I to march with Greg while the rest went to a concert or some such. The parade was fun as was the afterparty. I managed to meet and see every single Jew I know in New York and elsewhere on the way and hang out with Greg and Julie who are, as always, fantastic.After the afterparty (JZ sucks and so does that English) we headed to Georgies and had an overpriced meal with a pretty shitty waiter then drove home. Obviously a lot more happened but I'm not going to type up 5 pages when this will remind me of the entire time easily enough. Suffice it to say that I left New York with a whole new level of respect for it. I've never felt so included in any community and some of these people were welcoming to the point of absurdity. I may end up staying at Ari's place a bunch of times this summer and I know this isn't going to be my last trip out there.To do's next time:Hang with the frenchmen as they're out there and I now have their cellnumber.Meet up with Kas and have a few drinks.Contact Naima and see if she doesn't want to join the frenchmen and I out on a fun-filled clubbing evening.GO TO THE MET (I've been to NYC a bunch and have NEVER seen the Met)Catch some broadway musicals company or no.See the statue of liberty.Stay frostyRegards,Josh "" Weinstein

Short one.

Next few days ought to be interesting. Tomorrow (or today) I'm spending the night at Greg's aunt's house. Saturday I'll be going to New York with Nate and company for a whole lot of drinking and birthday celebrating. And sunday I'll be marching in an Israel day parade and hopefully doing a whole lot of recovering from the drinking of the previous night. Looking forward to it all.Josh "I'm not sleeping yet?" Weinstein

Back and about.

I got back to CT Wednesday evening and life has already settled down into its boring West Hartford rhythms. This summer is shaping up to be one of the busiest ones in my life and I'm not too sure how to regard it. I'm looking at 40 hours of work, learning Hebrew, getting my EMT certification, and an additional summer course all in a twelve-sixteen week period. I can only hope that this isn't too much for me to handle. So, since I've been lax in updating here's my week in CT in a nutshell. Thursday: I spent the day with Jason and caught up a bit. He's probably one of my best friends in Connecticut and I enjoy the living hell out of spending time with him. We went to the Naugatuck mall to hang out and see if there weren't any interesting people about, for all we know there might have been but they were all 16 year olds and that's such a huge age gap that there's no way we could relate. We then went to a killer Chinese place had some good food and watched Episode 3 (which I'm still not too big a fan of but at least it's better than the other two). Friday: I headed up to Uconn to see if I couldn't get registered for courses. The system has been blocking me for months and I need to figure out why. No one was around so I went to the Engineering office and officially changed majors. It's good to have that off my chest and I'll see an advisor sometime this July about getting into the classes I need. I also managed to run into Greg at the Hillel. We went up to Ted's and downed a few pitchers of Blue Moon. He asked me to move in with him in the Spring semester and I'm honestly considering it. If I'm staying in CT and I get bored of the dorms I think an off campus apartment might be worth a shot and the price is right. Greg could be a fantastic roommate but I'm not too sure how he and I fit together on religious issues. He's far more conservative than I am and I almost feel beholden to keep up to his standards. I think it's something I should talk through with him. Saturday: Greg came down to West Hartford and picked Julie and I up for some Sox game action. During the day we drank a whole lot then played some less-than-sober frisbee and did some "We're drunk let's go in the front lawn" wrestling. That night we opened up the Hillel and did some drunken Shabbat services (with Julie leading) and played some sobering up monopoly. Then we went for a pleasant summer walk and chilled by Chemistry Lake for about an hour before going back to Greg's place. I spent the night on the couch and we went home in the morning. I might be going down to NYC with them for the Israel day parade but funds are tight and we'll see how things work out. Sunday: Did absolutely nothing which was quite nice. Monday: Went out with Jason again and managed to pick up some very attractive gals. Maybe more on this later as things develop but it had to happen sometime eh? Today: Nothink! I SEE NOTHINK!Regards,Josh "Should I stay or should I go now" Weinstein.

This computer sucks balls!

Well, I've been unable to update for a while due to this horrible computer. I'll do a large write up hopefully sometime this Sunday but until then one of these things:01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.02. I will then tell what reminds me of you.03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.06. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.07. Put this in your journal (or don't really).

Virginia on my mind

Whelp, I'm in VA again visiting my mother. It's nice to see the sort of easy going people I knew existed but couldn't quite find in CT. Mom's graduation is tomorrow and that ought to be a real good time after that I'm going to take some dance lessons and see where the chips fall.Back to my review of the school year (note these aren't full on paragraphs but rather are stutter takes of thoughts I've had when thinking about the person being spoken of).Girls:Lucia: You were probably my first friend here. You're bitchy, cynical, and spontaneously nutty. I don't think this semester would have been half as fun without you here and I'm going to miss hanging out with you and the Frenchies regularly.Kiera: When I first met you I thought to myself "Here's just another rap-loving, boring, everyday boring (but nice) girl." I've never felt like more than an ass when you actually let down your guard and proved how wrong I was. You're an amazing person with a lot more depth than anyone but your good friends give you credit. I wish you were happier with yourself and more willing to go at life sober. You've got Lucia to watch over you for now but I know that when you give yourself a chance the world'll have to step aside to let you through.Mathilde: Alissa put it best when she said "I'd hate her for being so beautiful if she weren't the nicest person I've ever met." Mat, I wish I had been able to get to know you better when I had the chance. You weren't the most comfortable speaking in English but, from what I've seen, you've a fine mind and a sparklingly nice personality. I wish you all the best of luck in France and hope that we can hang out sometime in the future.Stephanie: I hated you in middleschool. You were snobby, spoiled, and bitchy. How did you grow up to be such a fantastic person? I'm glad we reconnected and that you and I, (who was) a judgemental erudite asshole, are so similar in outlook. Best of luck in your marriage and maybe with your help we can find Anne and see what's up with the girl I still dream about.Maureen: You nearly broke my self confidence. You're one of the two reasons why I've given up on women in, around, or from Connecticut. Still, once I got over your mixed signals and became friends with you I found a quirky fun to be around girl who needs to take her medicine more often. Your romantic relationships end up being torrid and short. You go hot and cold on me a lot. And you should take your medicine more often. The way you view yourself scares me, there are more reasons for living than "I don't want to hurt the people around me". Despite all that I (platonically) love you and I hope that either you can find the strength to get the help you need or I can find the strength to help you.Allison: Reason for giving up on women part deux. You confuse me. We get along fantastically both in person and online. Why do you repeatedly make plans for us to hang out and then disappear right before we're supposed to hang out only to reappear a few days later? I'd normally take the hint but you claim that you're "just flakey". I asked you outright whether or not you want me to just not bother you online or elsewhere anymore and you demanded that I keep in contact. I've given up on you after the fourth disappearing act but honestly, if I'm such a bad person, why can't you say anything? Resolution would be nice.Julie: I owe you a lot. You, and Greg (who is only at Hillel because you were there to convince him to not go back to his fraternity) are the reasons why I'm still active at Hillel. You genuinely stretched out your hand when no one else gave me the time of day (aside from Michelle to be covered later and Sarah) and I couldn't be happier that you did. I don't understand why a lot of people don't like/know you but you've always been kind, amusing, and helpful to me. I enjoy hanging out with you a lot and I'm saddened by the fact that we'll only have this summer together before you go off to bigger and better things (probably in Israel).Michelle: You're a lot like the younger sister that I'd like to have had. I'm not going to go too in depth here but I think Greg put it best when he said "When you're a little older you'll be a force to be reckoned with" (although I think he meant it as a jab there's truth there). You're already a fun, intelligent, and sarcastic girl. When you come out of your shell (tee hee) a little more and let life mature you you'll have all of academia at your feet and more than a few morons rolling around in pain behind you from the verbal lashings you administer. I look forward to being there and to (hopefully) not be rolling around bleeding from the ears.Jackie: You're a complicated person. I remember when I first saw you at the Hillel block party. I tried to offer you a snowcone (because that was what I was making seeing as I didn't know anyone there aside from Julie, Sarah, Brian, and Michelle) and you looked at me for a second and then walked away. I don't remember if you said anything but I do remember thinking "She's probably just another New Englander not looking to meet anyone new." I guess I was a little wrong eh? I'm usually exceptionally good at reading people but you throw me for a loop time and again. I enjoy spending time with you immenselybut, unfortunately, I can't really tell when you're done with me. I don't know when genuinely pissing you off (or if you just plain dislike me) and when you're just kidding. Your reactions to art/cinema are uplifting. You've excellent taste in music. You dance(enthusiastically) regardless of who's watching. You're loud, passionate in all that you do, and more than a little mercurial. I look forward to hanging out next semester (and hopefully not antagonizing you to the point where you stop talking to me permanently). You're a person who's still finding herself but I suspect the girl you find will please you.To the people I left out (not that I expect them, or anyone else really, to read this). I apologize. I either forgot you or don't know you well enough yet to have written something about you. I hope all my friends have a fantastic summer.

Back and (relatively) unpacked.

I'm back home and unsure of where this summer is going. Jobwise everything is still very much in the air the certification courses I was planning on doing this summer will be a sight longer than I had hoped so I won't be working at the hospital as previously planned. I'll figure something out I suppose.I'm currently going through a serious "missing everyone from school" stage. I made a lot of friends, many of whom I won't see from three months to forever. It's sad that a lot of the people my age are graduating, I've met a lot of cool younger people but they're still only about halfway to the people they're going to become and I'm more than a little afraid I won't fit into their "life pictures" in a year or two. So, to the people I met/remet this year (I'll do this in two parts today the men tomorrow the women):Men:Erik: You're an asshole. You can be a great person at times but you fucking piss me off. You try to overcompensate for your shortcomings as a human being by attempting to sleep with every attractive girl you meet. You, and people like you, ruin any chance of normal people like me (heh, well semi-normal) finding someone who hasn't been so fucked over by various men that they haven't given up on us. If you weren't one of the first people at Storrs to reach out to me I don't know if I'd associate myself with you. But, as things stand, you generally treat me with respect and it's because of you that I found a group of people I adore and respect. Maybe you'll grow up and find the strength to be yourself sometime.Rick: You're amazingly awesome. I look at you, your work ethic, and the way you accept people and can't help but be a little jealous. You're one of the few people I think I'm going to take out of college as a friend and try to keep as one. There's little else I need to say about you bro and, though you don't read this, I hope you realize how great a person I think you are.Sebastien Hey frenchie! I'm going to miss you a lot. Your constant badgering of me to get me to go out with you guys helped me socialize in a way I don't think would have been possible otherwise. I'm sorry your life isn't going in the direction you'd like it to but don't give up. Just because you're not working out here doesn't mean you can't do so in the future. Give it, yourself, and life time to work themselves out and I'm sure you'll manage. You're not very smart but you don't have to be. I'm sorry I missed seeing you go hopefully I'll visit you sometime in Paris.Louis Wow man, you're probably the best dude I've met all semester. Who'd have thought that I'd meet someone cool from a country as antisemitic as France? The fact that you don't give two shits about what ANYONE thinks of you regardless of who/what they are just blows me away. I've seen you go from girl to girl in the club until you found one that stuck and I wish I had that skill. If I could shrug off rejection like you do I think I'd be a much better person. I hope to see you this summer in NYC and keep in touch long after college is over. Greg You're neurotic, quirky, and difficult. I don't think I could respect you more. You're the kind of person who, if he can't find a niche for himself somewhere, will create one. Your outgoing personality and all around balls to the wall attitude create nothing but respect in me. If I don't manage to piss you off enough to disown me I have the feeling that we'll become excellent friends far beyond Hillel/College.Marc I don't think I've ever met anyone more willing to climb up and jump off random crap than you. You've great taste in music and you're willing to go out of your way to meet strangers, make them friends, and do your damndest to help them if they need it. I like how you're willing to go to the wall for your friends, it's nice to see that in someone else besides me (I nearly had it burned out of me this semester. Nothing quite like being willing to go beyond the call with no recipocration to make you reevaluate how you see people). You're similar to the people I went to highschool with (that's a huge compliment) and I hope that we're on our way to being friends. This doesn't even begin to cover it but I don't know you well enough (yet) to do anything more in depth.That was longer than I'd like,Josh "It's late and I have work to do" Weinstein

The king is dead. Long live the new king!

Well I can't type much but let me preface this by saying that I'm extremely sad that I missed Maureen leaving. She's been one of the few very cool people I've met this semester and it sucks that I won't be able to hang with her until next semester. I'm done with finals and am packing stuff up but I still have a shit-ton (metric unit meaning OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS A LOT OF WORK) to finish by tomorrow at midnight. Hopefully I'll be able to get this all done and still say goodbye to the rest of my people. If I don't I think I'm going to blow a gasket.Let me out of this freaking closet-sized room,Josh "The closet thing was not a clever way to come out. My room is extremely small and I'll be stuck in it for quite some time." Weinstein

Today was good hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Talked to some people about some things and got an opinion or two along the way. Went to a goodbye dinner for Julie in which there was more than a little drinking and speechmaking. Making some plans for summer that should be fun (including maybe visiting a friend who's stuck in Delaware). And argued a bunch about rather silly stuff with people I like and shouldn't be arguing with. I should be studying but we all know how well that always turns out. This semester may not turn out so well.Hoping tomorrow works,Me "Hotter than a tomato" Mefurther.

Enough with all this angst/self pity.

After talking to Reen and Crystal I've cleared some stuff up. Things will work themselves out. I can't give up on everyone just because of some stupid incident regardless of whether it was intentional or not. There are people out there worth letting in I'll just have to let them come to me instead of vice versa. It's probably time I grew up and stopped with all this "finding friends" nonsense. Good friends will either find me or not. I've been more or less alone (surrounded by people) for four years I can do another four if need be,Josh "I'm writing my own name" Weinstein

Addendum/Clarification

I'm not saying that anyone in particular is at fault. What happened last night very well might have been just a tired misunderstanding. But the fact that I let myself get anywhere near where I was set off warning bells in my head. I'm going to back off in general and not let people get as close. Quite frankly, it always ends up being one sided anyway. I can resign myself to being, at most, casual friends with everyone I meet. It hurts but it hurts a lot less than the alternatives.What a town without pity can do,Josh "..." WeinsteinUpdate: The Torah has been found. That's one load off my mind.

Getting flashbacks.

All I can say is "fuck". Yesterday, although starting off on a pleasant note, ended up in the shitter. After a nice lunch with the Jew bunch I did some work and then came back for some dinner/pool. Then I went with Julie and Greg to a great bar with a live jam band to have some bread products (passover JUST ended) and some spectacular bar. Came back for midnight breakfast at the south dining hall where I managed to get angrier than I've been for some time. Firstly and most importantly someone stole a Torah from the hillel. I don't even know where to begin how horrible this makes me feel. It's very much like a spiritual rape, I've not been going to the Hillel for long yet it feels like a second home to me and for something like this to happen RIGHT as the semester ends? I feel like I'm somewhere between weeping and random violence. I think I expect too much out of the people I meet/become friends with. Just because I'd be willing to take a bullet (in a very literal sense) for anyone I let close enough to be a friend doesn't mean that I should expect the same from them. I'm reminded of the time "Karen" tried her damndest to make my life hell before we broke up, she'd go alternatively hot and cold on me. Tell me things that she definitely wanted me to do then went and slapped me when I didn't do the opposite and G-d knows what else before I found her cheating on me. That all sounds fairly run of the mill but I loved her more than I care to admit and for her to betray me in so many ways close to destroyed me. Connecticut has made me feel much the same. I've been virtually ignored/kept at arm's distance/made to feel like I'm not a worthwhile person by a majority of the people I've met here. Maybe if I stopped caring so much about people things would be better. I'm considering closing myself off for a while and keeping everyone at a CT distance and seeing if that doesn't improve things. The semester is ending anyway, I'll just head back to West Hartford and stick my head in a hole all summer. Greg and Julie if they're even talking to me (not that they wouldn't be but damn I feel like I've been abandoned here) might make a few guest appearances but by and large I'm going to not try so much.Can't get hurt if there's no one close enough to stick the knife in right?Josh "It's not giving up if no one's looking" Weinstein

So ends the second most stressful week I've had this semester.

Well this week has been less than pleasant but at least it's over with. I still have upwards of 10 labs to do but I'm confident I can do them before my final on Wednesday. All that leaves is finishing bloody passover so I can eat some corn syrup or something. I'm really looking forward to this summer where I can relax and focus on one class/job at a time whilst getting ready for the fall. I still need to change majors, register for classes, and talk to an advisor so the next week'll bad but not nearly so bad as this one.Desperately seeking Susan,Joshua "I'm not crazy.. yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA" WeinsteinP.S. I'm considering heading to SD to surprise Crystal with a visit this summer. That should be pretty fun.

Short entry about a whole lot.

Spent the entire night out with Marc, Brett, Jackie, and Michelle. I'm coma tired and still have a whole lot of work to do. There's only a week left of school and I'm still so out of everything I need to shape up and stop hanging out with fun but distracting people. What I really need is someone to get on my back about getting work done, I'm going to have to ask a friend to play taskmaster/costudybuddy so I can finish this stuff or else this semester is going to end very badly.Mlech,Joshua "Wishing I had met these people earlier this semester" Wein-fucking-stein

Less than stellar.

Well, the end of a pretty much wasted semester is upon me. I've managed to do little other than take a few classes that don't even count for my major and making a bunch of friends (most of whom are leaving sometime soon either for graduation, deportation, or greener pastures). I've got more to do this week than I can count on all my bodily appendages. Things are piling up, away, and out and I've been screwing around and putting everything off.Things are still looking up but goddamnit I'm fucking exhausted and it's not going to get easier until next semester.Phlzzzrrjhghj,Joshua WeinsteinP.S. The first girl I ever tried to propose to just turned me down. :-( ...If we hadn't just met the other week I might be slightly offended!

Pesach Pesach Pesach

The past few days have been jewriffic. On Saturday I went over to Nate's house with Greg and Julie for a spectacular passover Seder. We ate a ton of good food, drank pretty good wine, laughed our asses off at ourselves (if you can't laugh at your own jokes who else can you count on to do it?), played trivial pursuit, and met a whole bunch of Jewish strangers who ended up being freaking fantastic people. We managed to finish the dinner in about four and a half hours (in Jew time that's almost punctual). I slept on the floor and missed out on Saturday's spring weekend festivities (no big freaking loss, I learned my lesson on Friday). And came back on campus just in time for lunch today. Today (or yesterday I suppose) I had lunch with Greg/Julie, showered (yay cleanliness!), wore a snazzy shirt, and went to the second night's Seder at Hillel. Unfortunately Hillel's service was a little less than inspiring (at least compared to Nate's), it seemed too abbreviated and the non-regular people weren't very into it. Also, and more importantly, a friend of mine was pretty depressed so I was worried about them and the sweet wine they make us drink (I swear I'm not an elitist but I CANNOT STAND sweet wines they hit me harder than they should and make me feel sick) all evening. It's hard watching the people you like doubt themselves, especially when they have no earthly reason to. I walked them back to their dorm and had a little heart to heart, I don't think I made myself too clear due to the hard-grapejuice and a general somber mood but I tried and will continue to do so until it bloody sticks.Regards,Josh "I may stop signing it like this but I rather like giving myself nicknames" Weinstein

Bwah! CT fails in yet another conversion!

Man, last night was a blast. I managed to spend the entire evening hanging out with Jackie, Marc, Brett, and Michelle (completely sober I might add). We watched some movies, spat whipped cream all over poor Michelle, polled random Uconn girls about their tastes in men's fashion, listened to music, ran around the dorm with masking tape around our legs (I won all the races thankyouverymuch), and had a generally awesome time. It's nice not having to hold back with people, it's been so long since I could cut loose and be myself in a crowd and not get the "Who the fuck are you to talk to us? You're not into the right music, don't dress right, and aren't good looking enough to even be in the same room as us/me/that dude with the pink shirt and popped collar over there". This place started to have me thinking it was me who was wrong. That I should put on a fake face to trick people into liking me (like that could change how attractive or in this case unattractive I am) and then I could be myself. Thank God for people like Jackie, Maureen, and Rick to prove me wrong (Michelle too but she's so quiet and she makes fun of my hair.) =( I've still given up on the womenfolk but it's nice to know that if I ever take back up the search there are cool ones out there just waiting to be found.Tag,Joshua "I spent the first night of Spring Weekend sober and couldn't be happier" Weinstein.

Hey, long time no write.

After over two years of silence I'm going to start writing in this thing again. I've decided a few things first though; Firstly, I'm not going to censor myself, I know that people I know read this thing but I'm not going to hold back because of it. I may not be perfect but I think I'm a valid person and to write to a specific crowd would change who I am and what I do. Secondly I don't think I'm going to angst as much. I've got a bunch of friends here and am meeting more cool people every day so why complain so much? Lastly I'm going to update semi-daily so if my writing style doesn't jibe on your (the general you) friends list.. *shrug*Regards,Joshua "I gave myself a freaking cool nickname" Weinstein